


Perfect

by Lumeleo



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Character Study, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 06:26:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16718077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumeleo/pseuds/Lumeleo
Summary: One way Atobe Keigo's life could have gone, and one way it did go.





	Perfect

_This is how it could have gone: Atobe Keigo is born to Akihito and Elizabeth, their first and only child. His parents are busy with duties and obligations, and leave his care mostly to an endless stream of nannies and servants who see to his every physical need but never give him enough affection. Keigo is paraded out to show off to guests and then shooed away again, another checkmark on his parents’ list of accomplishments._

_He is four when he meets Kabaji, and decides that Kabaji is his. The shy younger boy never gathers the courage to say otherwise, and soon enough he follows every one of Keigo’s commands as though he were another one of his servants. They run along the corridors of the castle and play hide and seek in the garden, but when night falls, Keigo’s bedroom is awfully dark and empty. Keigo learns early enough not to complain about the dark. The nannies are not on duty at night, and it’s an awfully long way from his bedroom to his parents’._  
  
*

This is how it did go: Atobe Keigo is born to Akihito and Elizabeth, their first and only child. His parents are busy with duties and obligations, but they spend a lot of time and effort in finding a trustworthy nanny to care for him when they can’t. Her name is Amelie, but Keigo soon calls him Mamalie, fond of her hugs and warm cookies. His mother’s hugs are still the best, though, and his father reads the best bedtime stories once he’s done with business for the day. He is his parents’ pride and joy, a bright and brave little prince, and every day they are more delighted to have him. He is four when he meets Kabaji, and decides that Kabaji is his. The shy younger boy never finds reason to say otherwise, and soon enough he follows Keigo’s every step like a loyal shadow. They run along the corridors of the castle and play hide and seek in the garden, and when night falls Keigo feels awfully big and smart as he haltingly reads stories to ever-patient Kabaji. Keigo is not afraid of the dark, not when he has his teddy bear and the nightlight Mamalie picked up for him, but his parents check in on him every night anyway, just in case.

*

_The first time Keigo loses, he is devastated._

_He is not used to losing, has never had cause to experience such a thing. The servants and Kabaji all know better than to try to actually beat him in his childish games, and he has grown to assume victory as his due. When he is defeated in a game of tennis of all things, he doesn’t know how to handle it, except with the knowledge that he has to get better. He will get better, because he is Atobe Keigo, and Atobe Keigo never loses. His anger only burns brighter with every ball he hits._  
  
*

The first time Keigo loses in tennis, he is frustrated.

He is not used to losing, tends to excel at anything he tries without much difficulty. His losses so far have been limited to simple games, certainly nothing like a sport. This will not stand, he will not stand it, and while before he has done sports just for fun, now he has a new passion. He will become stronger, stronger than anyone, and he will be the best.

Keigo hits the ball Kabaji serves towards him, and laughs.

*  
__  
Moving to Japan is the end of the world.

_Keigo has fought for his place in the social pecking order, has surrounded himself with the sort of people he likes, has formed his entire life to his liking. It seems inconceivable that he would have to lose all that, he never has to give up anything if he doesn’t want to, but for once, his parents aren’t budging. They are moving and that is final, Kabaji’s family is moving as well, and there would be nothing left behind for Keigo but an empty castle and silent walls._

_Even numerous tantrums don’t get him his way this time, though his parents do promise him a dog. It’s not the worst thing in the world, even though it can’t carry his bags like Kabaji does._

*

Moving to Japan feels like the end of the world.

Keigo has many things in England that he loves, things like friends and places and his grandmother. He understands the culture and the language, is old enough to know things won’t be as simple on the other side of the world. His parents understand his concerns but assure him it will be all right, and besides Kabaji’s family is moving as well and he wouldn’t want Kabaji to face a new country all on his own, now would he?

He is still not convinved even as Mamalie assures him he will be the most brilliant little boy in all of Japan, but he supposes that for her and his parents he can at least try. He does want a dog, though. Someone has to be around to guide him and Kabaji if they get lost in the new country.

*  
_  
Keigo takes on all the tennis club regulars and wins, which does not exactly win him friends._

_He does have allies right away, other first years he has promised to take with him to the top, but he’s very aware that will not last if he shows any weakness. He has won his position by force, and that is how he will have to keep it. He is the captain now, and the captain can never waver, not unless he wants to give way to another challenger. The only reason he was even allowed to issue his challenge is because his parents have given the school large amounts of money, but now that he has his position, he has to hold onto it with his own strength alone._

_Keigo is never going to give up. He will beat down any who might try to take his place, even if it is his own players._  
  
*

Keigo takes on all the tennis club regulars and wins, but that doesn’t mean he has to face the future alone.

He was somewhat nervous about going to school without Kabaji, not that he’d have admitted it, but he’s managed to find plenty of other first years who seem like they’ll make good friends in the meantime. He takes them to the club with him because it’s obviously the best thing ever, after all Keigo is the captain now and any club he runs is going to be brilliant. He knows his parents’ money is the reason why his challenge wasn’t simply laughed off, knows he is wealthy even here in Hyoutei, but that only means he has to work even harder to prove his own worth. He’s not going to try to buy friends. No bought friend would ever be as good as Kabaji, after all. However, if others gravitate to him regardless, he will happily accept the company.

*  
_  
When Keigo loses to Echizen, he loses everything._

 _His players turn away from him, unable to bear the thought of their captain being as weak and useless as the rest of them. He’s always boasted about his skills, has been strict not to allow defeat. Now he is the one who has failed, his players have seen him at his worst, and they have no reason to fear him anymore. Keigo runs, and runs, and runs, until his legs can’t bear him any more. It’s not enough, though. No amount of pain will get rid of his shame, and he has to face it all alone._  
  
*

When Keigo loses to Echizen, he feels like he has lost everything.

He’s always boasted about his skills, has been strict not to allow defeat. Now he is the one who has fallen, and yet somehow, his players find reason to admire him. He fought harder than anyone could have, they tell him, he showed just how great the captain of Hyoutei is, and they have no shame about their loss. All this means is they’ll have to work even harder in the future.

Keigo does run, still, telling himself he needs to be better, needs to be stronger, needs to not fail again. His team stops him just as his strength is about to fail him, tell him to rest and stop punishing himself. They won’t have any use for a broken captain, so he’d better not break.

He wants to tell them he was not seeking punishment, but he has no desire to lie to his team after he already failed them so.

*  
__  
High school is hell.

_Once again he has to face a new school without Kabaji, and even if others might forget his loss to Echizen, Keigo himself cannot. There are plenty of people who flock to him, but he finds it hard to believe any of them are interested in anything beyond his money. He will take their adoration, but it feels empty, and he is always left looking for more._

_By the time Kabaji moves up to high school as well, Keigo no more knows how to connect with him. If he ever did, whispers a traitorous voice at the back of his mind. Kabaji probably only associated with him because their parents were friends. Keigo is better off without him, without anyone._

_His grades are perfect. His appearance is perfect. His club activities have to be perfect, too._

_If he works hard enough, one day he will be perfect, too._  
  
*

High school is difficult.

Once again he has to face a new school without Kabaji, though thankfully most of the other third year regulars move right up to Hyoutei high school. It makes adjusting to the new environment easier, if only a little. He hates to admit it, but the stress of all his activities is getting to him. He has always been the best, yet the more he thinks about it, the more he suspects he won’t be able to keep it up forever. He has already lost once. He can always lose again.

People are surprised when he does not join the student council this time. Only other people, though, not his friends. They know exactly how much Keigo has struggled with the pressures he puts on himself, have seen the rare moments when he allows himself to show stress or exhaustion. Not that they are ever going to bring it up, don’t want to push him into overworking himself just to prove them wrong. It would be so like him, exhausting himself just to prove he isn’t tired.

The first time he is not top of his class, everyone is shocked, Keigo himself more than anyone. Even so, he notices, the Earth keeps turning.

Perhaps it’s not so important after all.

*  
__  
Dating, Keigo has decided, is a waste of time.

_He is aware of the admiration he receives, for his looks and money at least, but finds it hard to be interested. It’s not until he hears some malicious rumors that he first even considers taking a girl out on a date. There are many who are all too willing, which is good as he never spends much time with any one of them. That brings up other sorts of rumors, but those are tolerable. Being popular and not settling down is perfectly acceptable for a young, successful heir such as he is. In time he’ll settle down with a wife his parents have chosen for him, have an heir to continue the line, and never have to bear such troublesome rumors ever again._

_There is no reason to ruin such a perfect plan with something as irrational as feelings. It would be terribly imperfect to do so, after all._  
  
*

Dating, Keigo has thought, is a waste of time.

He’s aware of the admiration of his fans, of course, would have to be blind and deaf not to. He also could hardly miss the way his friends are pairing up, the occasional messy fight always followed by an even messier reconciliation. He also knows not all would consider such things proper, knows there are people who spread malicious rumors, but Keigo doesn’t care about any of that. All he cares about is that his friends are happy, and if some of them find happiness in each other, he’s going to defend them no matter what. Besides, he may be many things, but he is not a hypocrite.

His parents have long since sat him down for a Talk, have explained both what society might expect of him, and what they do. The two are not the same, they have assured him, and if his life does not follow the same plan as theirs that’s fine, he is fine, they could never be disappointed in their beautiful, brilliant son. It has always been easy to say no to anyone confessing to him. He has never felt any temptation to say yes, not even when the person approaching him is quite different from the usual pretty young lady. All that comes to an end as he finds himself staring at Sanada of all people, flustered and clearly embarrassed but nevertheless as serious as always, asking Keigo if he might be persuaded to join Sanada for coffee. Or tea, or whatever ridiculous drink Keigo no doubt prefers.

It has always been easy to say no before, but the yes comes even easier.

*  
__  
This is how it could have gone: Atobe Keigo is twenty when his car swerves off the road, taking him with it.

_It is officially called an accident, because some things are awfully scandalous, and it’s not like they can prove otherwise. Not that there would be any reason for Keigo to end his own life. His life was perfect, after all, a model student and tennis club captain in one of the most prestigious universities in Japan, a position in the family company waiting for him as soon as he graduates, a beautiful fiancée from a respectable family. Clearly it had been a terrible accident, a young life cut short before it could truly start, but then the brightest stars do often burn out first._

_Nobody, certainly not his parents, ever questions the lack of skidmarks right in front of the guard rail._  
  
*

This is how it did go: Atobe Keigo is twenty when he announces his engagement to Sanada Genichiro.

It is scandalous, of course, but then Keigo is no stranger to scandal, and his parents have no intention of putting an end to something that makes their son smile so brightly. Their older relatives may tut and shake their heads, grumbling about how Keigo is certainly not the perfect heir that the Atobe family needs, but that is secondary. Keigo is an Atobe through and through, his father muses, too strong and stubborn to be bent to anyone else’s will, and trying to change him would be as useless as trying to put out a star.

His son is living true to himself, and Akihito cannot imagine anything more perfect than that.


End file.
